Before I did the company banking
last week, I off-handedly informed the guys in the office I’d had to do some
money laundering, and the look I received was well worth the throwaway line.
After all, I am the one responsible
for the handling of all receipts to be deposited for the various enterprises in
the village. In that moment of blank looks and
pregnant silence I wondered if they were thinking I’d suddenly gone mad and
they’d have to either call the police or men in white coats, or banish me from
the building, confiscate all my keys and conduct an internal inquiry with
appropriate disciplinary action. I let them digest that thought for a few
seconds before assuring them my money laundering was of the literal kind.
For the last twenty years our
village motel has had coin operated washers and dryers in the laundry, so in
order to distinguish between the coins the motel uses and those the guests use,
the motel’s had a black X on each side. The guy from the company which owned
the machines would empty them out, count what was this and what was that, and
send us a bill.
Fast forward to the present,
X-marked coins no longer needed so they were destined for the bank. I somehow
got the feeling the bank wouldn’t appreciate $500 worth of one and two dollar defaced
coins, so thought I’d do the right thing and bring them back to bankable
condition. First, dump the lot in a bowl of metho, then toss in colander after
scrubbing each individual coin to remove all the Xs, sit colander in bowl of hot
soapy water to get rid of metho smell, rinse well, then lay out to dry. All of
which took nearly two hours mind you, along with blackened nails and deadened
fingertips.
Back in Al Capone’s day, the
Mafia funnelled all manner of illegal proceeds through legitimate Laundromat
businesses, hence the money laundering term, but for most of us, doing the
laundry has never been connected with anything suspect or underhanded. It’s
simply washing, rinsing and drying, plus the one bonus of this little episode
was it didn’t involve any folding or ironing.
Glad I went to the trouble.
The bank teller was very thankful, and quite impressed with my bags of shiny
coins.
Money laundering
reclaiming dirty money
for good intentions
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