Tokens of Love

Despite being together more than thirty years, my husband and I never celebrated Valentine’s Day. It wasn’t that we didn’t have our romantic moments, but the day and all the commercialisation surrounding it never really resonated with us. Instead, Bob would surprise me when least expected with a gift or gesture that reminded me I was uppermost in his mind and heart. Whether humorous or serious, you can never receive too many affirmations that you are precious to someone, and they remind us of the importance of also reciprocating those expressions of love.

On a visit to Melbourne a while ago I wandered around South Bank, having lunch and window shopping, and decided to head across one of the bridges over the Yarra to take me back into the heart of the city. All along the railings on either side were hundreds of padlocks, somewhat puzzling I thought until I looked closer. Each one had a couple’s names or initials painted, written or engraved on it, some had the date, and others were adorned with hearts and ribbons and such like.

It had obviously become a popular thing for couples to do, placing a love token on permanent display, but as I thought on it a bit longer the choice of a padlock seemed a strange symbolic gesture.

Padlocks have one purpose, to be an extra safeguard for either keeping something or someone in, or something or someone out. They reflect an element of mistrust, which if you have expensive equipment in the shed for instance is probably quite justified. It’s natural to want to protect those things we’ve worked hard to acquire, and insurance companies are more inclined to be on our side if we can prove we took every measure possible to prevent those things from disappearing in the arms of some enterprising thief, should we ever have to make a claim.

On the other hand, the idea of safeguarding our love with a token gesture can easily come to grief. Padlocks always come with two keys when they’re shiny and new in the packet at the hardware store. To milk the metaphor for all its worth, that gives both parties the ability to lock or unlock the connection at any given time. What tends to occur over time though is that the shine diminishes, keys go missing, rust sets in, and eventually a trip back to the store for a replacement seems to be the only remedy. We can’t expect things to be kept in mint condition if they’re in constant use, but regular maintenance never goes astray.

There would also be plenty who would see the padlock as a symbol of entrapment. Whether those locked up are in the wrong, or those imprisoning them in the wrong, the powerful and powerless play never-ending mind games either to get the upper hand or to diffuse the threat. Unless intervention and restoration can take place, the process can be nothing short of soul destroying and debilitating.

But all of that couldn’t have been further from the minds of all those couples who attached their bright and shiny padlocks to the bridge. For them it made a statement, both to each other and any like me who would come along at some later stage, that at that moment they were expressing their love for each other. Full of hope and optimism as they walked side by side and crossed the river, their love was safe and secure.

If only we could be so assured. Life and love can be so transient, so live and love each day to the full.

Love tokens

young optimism
safe and secure